Porn has the right idea

Yesterday, I was watching TV and a commercial came on advertising Bowflex. They had this huge, ripped guy exercising, and a voice over that was so enthusiastic it made my balls hurt.

However, isn't the point of advertising these days to get people to empathize with the fictional guy on TV, working on getting those sculpted buns? Having a huge dude proclaiming the efficacy of the system doesn't really give them anything to relate to. Unless they're deluded to the nth degree, they're probably going to realize that they don't look like that guy, and they won't ever look like that guy.

In porn, people have started replacing ripped, muscled guys with pudgy, pasty, middle aged white dudes with body hair that's somehow unsettling. The reason being, as far as I can tell, that they've realized their market demographic: pudgy, pasty, middle aged white dudes with body hair that's somehow unsettling. The last thing these guys want to see when they're watching porn is someone who'll intimidate them. It's just going to remind them that they're sitting at home in a dark room, holding their small dick and sweating unpleasantly while they try not the think about their wife's cottage cheese thighs. Having these big walking towers of cock and muscle is just a slap in the face to the poor man.

So, why hasn't this been extrapolated to normal advertising? The only downside is that the advertising corporations don't have someone to show off what could be, if only the viewer would get off of his ass and buy their shit. They've lost that.

However, they've gained the knowledge that all around America, there's out of shape guys who are still watching that infomerical because they haven't been scared away by the fact that their wife thinks of the guy on the Bowflex commercial during sex. Instead, there's someone they can relate to. He's got the same problems they do: hairy ass, no muscles, a filthy attraction to that girl who was on Jeopardy the other night. They can relate. Hell, if he can look stupid pulling on those rods while wearing a sweatband, so can they.

Oh, and if you're pudgy, pasty, white, and middle aged, but you have body hair arranged in an aesthetically pleasing way, just disregard this.